But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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