She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
