Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
