I'm gonna have a badass scar
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize