Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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