I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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