They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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