i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
