Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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