just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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