1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm both gender and math confused
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
