My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
