Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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