I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
