dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
