I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
