garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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