Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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