ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
