You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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