Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize