Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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