I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
