She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
