I hate your face
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
