lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Plan B is the new Plan A
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
