so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
