Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
