We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
