What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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