Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
