walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
