Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize