I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize