The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
