theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
