U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
