i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
