fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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