Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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