He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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