hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize