I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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