He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
