Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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