he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
