got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Drunk is a universal language darling
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
