The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
