I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
