Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
