Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't EVER smell your tampon
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
