Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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