How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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