Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize