Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
