just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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