I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
