Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
