You just made me feel so damn special
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
