his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize