Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
