Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
