OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
