I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Randomize
