Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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