Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, beer. Big fan.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
